I just finished a week vacation for my 35th birthday and I’m scared to go home.
I don’t even remember my weekend here in Miami/Key West…not because it was a drunken blur but because my life is changing so fast I can’t even keep up…in my mind that is.
I know that when I reach Atlanta for the next 6-8 months I have to die to my old life. I have been a distant single mother for almost 7 years, its time for my son to come home. I have been a salon owner for over 8 years and a hairstylist for 20, its time to change careers. I have lived in Atlanta with utmost joy for 10 years, its time to move. I have been single for 11 years, its time to get married. I have been searching for Spirit and validation of my Spiritual self from the outside world and others for almost two decades, thats completely over/DEAD.
Although I am more confident because of my experiences and my willingness to learn and enjoy the adventure…I’m still scared shitless.
Will I have money? Will my son like the new place and life we transition into? Will I be lonely on my journey toward my soul mate? Will I like my new career and thrive…or will I find success after trial and tribulation? Will my Spiritual life continue to thrive? Will I make new friends? Will I hate traffic in my new location? Will I feel as free as I do right now? Will my husband be as fine, funny and comforting as my ex? Will my old school cadillac make the drive across country if need be? Will I have to give away my collection of heels or my scooter when I move? I mean…this is some serious shit!
I don’t live a wild and crazy or risky and adventurous life…although my outfits sometimes may indicate otherwise. So I would like to be sure that I have money to provide for my son and cool friends and a cadillac in my new life…
But who knows and I’m scared.(But not too scared to move forward) That is all